The Lewis Family

Chastised By A 2-year-old, Naked Dancing Baby, and Other Tidbits From A Daddy-Daughter Weekend

2011-10-30T21:06:00.004-04:00

Jen had to go out of town for a little over 24 hours Saturday-Sunday, and Carter decided to celebrate this event by taking only a 30-minute nap on Saturday, and no nap whatsoever on Sunday. I'm telling myself that this was because she was so excited to get alone time with Daddy that she wanted to maximize our time. ;-) The good news was that despite the lack of naps, she had a delightful disposition for the great majority of the time. That said, the time wasn't without its "interesting" moments. But all in all, we had a blast, hitting two fall festivals on Saturday, church and out to lunch on Sunday, and lots of play time in between.

First, the just generally fun/sweet part: I made up a new "game" that's completely self-serving. I kiss her on the cheek, then sing "Daddy stole a kiss...Daddy stole a kiss. Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy stole a kiss!" This makes her want to steal at *least* three kisses from me back. Suffice it to say that's a win for Daddy. That little game was fun all weekend.

But probably my favorite moment of the weekend was on Sunday morning, while combing her hair. Carter has very thick curly hair that she makes even more difficult to comb by twirling it every chance she gets. Not surprisingly, Jen usually does her hair. However, being the dutiful modern Dad, I am firm in my resolve to do her hair myself when Jen is away. So this morning I'm combing her hair while she's in the tub, trying to work on a particularly difficult tangle, and I caused the little one a bit of pain. It wasn't enough to make her cry, but it *was* enough to elicit an "Ow-eee, Daddy!"

But the funny part is what followed next.

"Be careful, Daddy."

"OK, Carter, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful."

"Let me show you careful."

Then my 2 1/2-year-old daughter proceeds to reach out for the comb, take it, and sllloooooowwwwlllly run it across her hair.

"This is careful, Daddy."

And she said it in the most instructive, teacher-ish, somewhat-condescending tone that you could ever imagine coming from a 2-year-old. Words on a computer screen are completely inadequate to describe it, but suffice it to say that it absolutely cracked me up. I started laughing, then she started laughing because Daddy was laughing. Good times.

My other favorite moment came as part of the non-nap on Sunday. We went to church, then out to lunch, then came home and played. She was showing no hints whatsoever of tiredness as 1pm and then 2pm passed. (She woke up around 5:45am, which is fairly normal for her.) At around 2:15, I decided that I was going to try for a nap anyway, as she has been known to surprise us by going from wide-open to sleepy very quickly. So, I went through the motions of nap time. I put her in my lap, read her books, and put her in the bed. Chances seemed fairly slim, as she had the brightest little eyes and a big smile when she said "bye-bye, Daddy" as I left the room.

I actually forgot to turn the monitor on, so I probably missed some entertainment for the next few minutes. I realized that it wasn't on about 10 minutes after I put her down. I turned it on, and I heard....singing. A made-up song, no less. She was singing something about ducks and Big Bird and her stuffed baby sheep, as far as I could tell. I chuckled, and turned on the video portion of the monitor to see what she was up to.

And I was greeted by a tiny light brown rear end.

The little booger was standing in the middle of her room, butt naked, singing about duckies and Big Bird and baby sheep and who knows what else. (She had on a shirt and underwear when I put her down. I promise!) Being the perceptive and insightful Daddy that I am, I divined that a nap wasn't in the cards for any time in the imminent future, so I went in the room.

"Carter, where are your underpants?"

"Right there." {pointing}

"Carter, where is your shirt?"

"Right there." {pointing again}

"Did you go potty?"

"No, I don't need to go potty."

"Then why did you take your clothes off."

"I take my underpants off and my shirt off and put them right there and right there." {giggling} "I'm funny."

Yes, little one, you are funny. That you are.

Carter, one day you might want to know... (Or, "What was I like when I was a baby, Mama and Daddy?")

2010-05-30T13:10:00.006-04:00

I had two long drives in the car with my mother a few weeks ago. Quite a bit of that time was spent with me asking questions of her that I'd never asked or particularly cared about before having my own little one. I asked questions about how long she was in the hospital when I was born, how long she was in labor, when did I first get teeth, what I was like as a baby, etc. I'm sure she forgot some random little things about me, and I'm sure Jen and I would do likewise if/when Carter ever asks us those same questions. I didn't do such a great job of keeping a calendar, but at least I can list some stuff for her here.

Carter, one day you might want to know...

..that you were born on April 4th, 2009 at 10:43am at East Cooper Regional Hospital in Mt. Pleasant, SC.
...that you weighed 6lbs, 12 oz. at birth.
...that you had a very full head of hair at birth.
...that your mother was in labor with you for a good 3-4 hours before she would agree that she was in labor.
...that you were extremely alert when you were born, making eye contact with anyone who held you.
...that we discovered that you could hold your head up when you were just a few days old. We put you on a mat on the floor for your first tummy time, and you immediately picked your head up to look around, and turned it the other direction before putting it back down on the mat.
...that from 2 weeks to 6ish weeks, you would grunt *loudly* every 10-15 seconds while you were sleeping (including at night), so loudly and so often that we asked the doctor if something might be wrong. Evidently nothing was.
...that you were 18 days old when you got your first bottle, from Daddy.
...that, unlike many stories we heard, you never showed any real preference between the breast and the bottle. You'd go straight from one to the other and back without missing a beat, and would take the bottle from anyone, no matter if your mom was nearby or not.
...that, despite the fact that she traveled for work, your mother managed to pump enough milk that you didn't have any milk or formula but hers until you were 10 months old. (You go, Jen!)
...that even as an infant, you preferred not being held. You didn't cry much other than when you were hungry, but when you did, most often the way to get you to stop crying was to put you down on the sofa or changing table.
...that you first rolled over (back to front) on 8/8/09--four months and four days old.
...that you started pulling yourself up to standing position (rather than sitting in someone's lap) and supporting all of your weight on your legs in late July/early August, right around 4 months old.
...that your Daddy took this picture of you standing and holding on to back of the couch with no other help on 9/2/09--two days before you were five months old!

...that you were sitting up on your own a few days after that.
...that over the next few months, you showed absolutely zero interest in learning to crawl. You were walking all the way across the den before you were crawling. I did a little experiment with you more than once: I'd have you standing holding on at one end of the couch, and I'd put a toy on the other end of the couch. You'd "cruise" down the couch easily to get the toy. Put you on the floor on your tummy, and the toy just a foot or two in front of you, and you didn't try to crawl to it. This behavior continued well after you were strong enough to pull yourself up to standing completely on your own, so I know you were strong enough to crawl; you just had no interest in it, evidently.
...that you first started "cruising" on furniture a few days before you turned six months old.
...that you took your first unassisted step without immediately falling in early November, a few days after you turned seven months old.
...that by Christmas 2009 (8 1/2 months) you could walk at least 15 steps on your own without falling, but still preferred cruising to walking. That changed in early January, when you pretty much abandoned cruising completely.
...that not only did you walk before you crawled, but you walked before you had a single *tooth*. You were VERY late in getting teeth. The first ones didn't come in all the way until a little after you were 10 months old. (Pic below was taken on 2/6/10, when you were 10 months and 2 days.)

...that, as of this writing (a few days before you will be 14 months old), you've never slept nearly as much as any of the doctors and child-rearing experts say you should, nor as much as the babies your age that we've compared you to, you little booger.
...that you saw your first balloon when you were seven months old, at Grayson Salego's first birthday party. It was love at first sight, and as of this writing, you're still obsessed with them, more than most babies your age. Going to the grocery store with you is always fun, because you point and exclaim "BALLOON" at every one of them you see.
...that your three favorite correctly-used words in your first phases of real talking (12-13 months old for you) were "ball," "balloon," and "shoes."
...that you *loved* the water--bath, swimming pool, ocean, fountains at water part, etc.--from a very early age

..that in particular, the first time we took you to Wannamaker Park, you were probably a little too young (right at 13 months...you were easily the smallest kid playing out there), but you pretty much ignored the crazy throngs of older kids all over the place, and absolutely loved playing in the little fountains. And on your second real trip to the beach (also right at 13 months, I think the very next weekend), you were *running* into the waves with reckless abandon.
...that most people who were around you said you were a very "laid back" baby because you didn't cry all that much and seemed to roll with the punches very well.
...that you were absurdly cute. (I suspect by the time I let you read this, you'll have already heard me say that a time or two that you can remember.)
...that Daddy probably called you "Little One" more than "Carter" from the time you were 2 or 3 months old on.
...that as a toddler, it was easy to know when you were even *thinking* about getting into something you knew you weren't supposed to do, because you would say "no no no no no no no" as you were about to do it.
...that as a toddler, you *loved* to play in your crib in the mornings. It was fairly common for you to push our hands away when we tried to get you out. You wanted us to be in the room with you, but you wanted top play in your crib on your own.
..that Mama and Daddy loved you very, very much as a baby and toddler, and love you even more today as you read this.

--Daddy

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T10:33:00.002-05:00

Welcome to a New Year, Little One! What an amazing year it has been getting to know you, especially the last several months. It has been absolute joy watching you learn about your world and discover new things that you can do. You have become so mobile in the last several weeks! We have been amazed by the fact that you can walk very well when you are focused on the task and have cheered as you easily took fifteen or so steady steps across the living room to move between us. We chuckle at the fact you can walk but you still don’t have any teeth! But that is ok since we LOVE your toothless grin.

What a joy each day has been with you. I love our daily rhythms and while I will confess I am ready for a short break when we put you to bed1 at the end of the day, within about an hour I can’t wait to see you in the morning and do it all again. Some of my favorite moments throughout the days include the squeals of joy you give when Daddy comes in the room, listening to you babble and talk with animated gusto, watching you interact with other people and children, the time we spend together while I am nursing you, and the sleepy snuggles right before bed time. And the best parts of all of those moments are the amazing smiles you give. You whole face lights up and your eyes just dance. Even when you give those sleepy, contented smiles as you feed just before bed, the light is no less bright.

People love being on the receiving end of your smiles and you don’t mind rewarding their silly behavior with a big one. If we thought it was true in the beginning, there is no doubt in my mind now—you LOVE being around people. You have always enjoyed the crowd on Tuesday nights as we meet with other families from church and you seem to relish the chaos of so many kids going every which way. As you accompany both Daddy and me on any errand, you take in your surroundings with rapt attention and playfully interact with all who stop to comment on how beautiful your hair is or on how happy and content you are. It is so interesting to continue to hear the comment of what a happy baby you are. When I was pregnant with you, I cannot count how many times nurses would comment while checking on how you were doing, “What a happy baby!” I still don’t know what made them say this, but apparently there was something there because it was the same comment over and over from different people in a wide variety of settings. Clearly, God created you with a joyful spirit that radiates to those around you and it expressed itself even before you were born.

As 2009 comes to a close, I am so thankful for the incredible blessing we have received in you. As we enter 2010 and the years to come, I am eager to see how you grow and bloom into the young lady that God created. You are a unique work of art that the God of Creation knit together with your own blend of personality, passion, and talents. I can’t wait to discover more and more aspects of the masterpiece He has created in you. Happy New Year, Little One!

And with that, I just heard your first stirring from your nap. Let the fun today begin!

Carter, Week 26

2009-10-03T11:35:00.003-04:00

(Pic taken Thursday, October 1st)

Pretty big gains this week in the area of being able to stand up while holding on to something. She's at the point now where she can do it pretty much indefinitely if she isn't trying to grab at something, or lets go with both hands (which she does from time to time). She can stand for short times holding on with one hand now as well, and will often use one hand to reach out for a toy or something while holding on with the other. Also did her first little "walking" while holding on, moving to get closer to a toy.

She has also started the indiscriminate "da-da-da-da-da" sound. So cute. She's really such a joy. We've been blessed with a very happy, enjoyable baby. Still no signs of stranger anxiety, either. To the contrary, she's still greeting strangers with a big ol' pretty grin most of the time. In general, if she's not sleepy, she smiles at pretty much anyone who smiles at her.

Carter: The first 25 weeks.

2009-09-27T15:59:00.006-04:00

I've been meaning to do this for a while for our own reference to remember milestones and development. The intention moving forward is to post one picture per week, and document what she's doing that's new/different.

(Note: If you're reading this via the feed on Facebook, the videos won't show up. You have to go directly to http://www.benandjenlewis.blogspot.com to see those.)

DAY OF BIRTH (4/4/2009)

This was taken at 11:05, 22 minutes after the birth. I chose this one for this day because it's representative of how alert and attentive she was that day. She made and kept eye contact with every person who held her, and we were told that she was much more alert than normal.

VIDEOS FROM DAY OF BIRTH

WEEK ONE--FIRST PART
(Pic taken 4/7)

This was taken the morning of her first full day home from the hospital: Tuesday, April 7th. (We came home on the afternoon of the 6th.) She kept up the same uber-attentive behavior all week. Not much else of interest besides eating, sleeping, and pooping. :)

Jen's parents and brother were there for the birth. My mother and my brother's family came down Wednesday-Friday. (4/8-4/10)

WEEK ONE--SECOND PART
(Pic Taken 4/10)

This was after her first at-home sponge bath and hair washing, I believe. As you can see, she was *really* focused in on Mommy. (And she appeared to *LOVE* getting her hair washed.)

WEEK TWO
(Pic Taken Thursday, 4/16)

We started in on tummy time this week, and discovered that she could lift her little head already. The "very curious about her environment" part of her personality was starting to come out.

This week was also the beginning of her "grunting" stage. She grunted often and loudly while sleeping, every few minutes, from week two until around week 6.

VIDEO WAKING UP (AND GRUNTING) WEEK TWO

WEEK THREE
(Pic taken Friday, April 24th)

She took her first bottle earlier this week, on the 22nd, from me. She took to it very, very well, and since has had no difficulties whatsoever going back and forth between the breast and the bottle.

VIDEO OF FIRST BOTTLE:

WEEK FOUR
(Pic Taken Friday, May 1st)

Really picking her head up and more alertness this week.

VIDEO WAKING UP

WEEK FIVE
(Pic taken Saturday, May 2nd)
(1-month b-day this week)

Appearing to enjoy tummy time a lot, and becoming more interactive not just with us, but with strangers as well. First true smiles started happening this week. She also really ramped up her interest in a few of her toys this week, and started getting her motor skills together to try to bat at them. (See first video below.)

VIDEOS:

WEEK SIX
(Picture Taken Sunday, May 10th)

Jen's first Mother's Day! In the latter part of this week, we took our first trip with her, to the mountains of North Carolina. She also had her first sitters, Jen's parents, as Jen and I went out to dinner on Friday, May 16th, our 11th wedding anniversary. She was wonderful for her grandparents, and I was so proud of Jen for not calling her parents to check in on her even once during our date night. :-)

Smiling a little more this week, especially at wake-up time.

WEEK SEVEN
(Picture Taken Thursday, May 21st)

We spent most of this week in the mountains with Jen's parents. (I worked from the condo's clubhouse, Jen was still on maternity leave.) She started smiling at pretty much every wake-up, and more during the day as well, especially when on the changing table. In fact, when she was only a week or two old, we thought she was learning that when we put her on the table, we were about to change her diaper, and that's why she'd stop fussing. Around this time it dawned on us that it was probably more because she likes being on her own more than being held, but with you interacting with her, and the raised changing table is the best place for that. To the time of this writing (9/27, when she's nearly six months old), she still seems to have a definite preference of *not* being held.

WEEK EIGHT
(Picture Taken Sunday, May 24th)

Back home to the Lowcountry for Memorial Day Weekend. We hosted a fairly large neighborhood cookout on Memorial Day (roughly 30 people).

Carter added cute baby coos and "talking" to go with her smiles this week. Very cute. The video is from right after the bath being shown in the pic, telling Mommy how much she enjoyed her bath.

VIDEO

WEEK NINE
(Picture Taken Monday, June 1st)
(2-month b-day this week)

Visit from Jen and Kyle Salter over the weekend to begin this week. Smiling like crazy now.

WEEK TEN
(Picture Taken Thursday, June 11th)

Cooing/talking much more. Holding head up very well, able to remain sitting up when propped up with pillows.

VIDEO

WEEK ELEVEN
(Picture Taken Friday, June 19th)

Visited Columbus this week, met several cousins, Aunts, and Uncles for the first time. Becoming very interactive with people. (See video below talking to and smiling at her Granny.) Holding head up on her own.

VIDEO

WEEK 12
(Picture Taken Wednesday, June 24th)

Learned to grab a toy and put it to her mouth this week. Also generally started to discover/examine her hands.

WEEK 13
(Picture Taken Tuesday, June 30th)
(3-month birthday this week)

*Seriously* staring at her hands this week. Extremely interactive with strangers, smiling at one and all. Spent week in NC mountains.

VIDEO

WEEK 14
(Picture Taken Thursday, July 9th)

July 4th cookout in NC early in the week. Home on the 5th. Mommy's maternity leave ended, and she went back to work this week. Carter started small little laughs and giggles this week to go along with talking.

VIDEO

WEEK 15
(Picture Taken Friday, July 17th)

Sitting up with pillow support for extended periods of time (as you can see in pic). First time in the Exersaucer. Feet couldn't reach the floor and she didn't have much interest in the little toys that go along with it, but she seemed to enjoy being more "on her own."

WEEK 16
(Picture Taken Thursday, July 23rd)

Able to sit with just back support (no pillows) . Full control over arms to easily reach out with one hand, grab a toy, and put it in her mouth. Started really playing on her own this week. (Examining and turning the little wheel on the Exersaucer.) Mommy took her first out of town trip since going back to work, and Daddy kept her. Carter decided to have an extended Daddy-Daughter conversation. Video below:

VIDEO

WEEK 17
(Picture Taken Friday, July 31st)

Nothing terribly "new" this week, but getting better at the things she's doing, such as sitting up. Started to sit with no support other than her own arms "tripoding."

WEEK 18
(Picture Taken Tuesday, August 4th)
(4-month birthday this week)

Starting to really laugh. Trying to roll over back to front.

WEEK 19
(Picture Taken Friday, August 15th)

First time rolling over was first day of this week (Saturday, August 8th.) She rolled from her back to her tummy. Her Granny got to see it, due to being in town for her dedication at church, which was on Sunday the 9th.

VIDEO (of the dedication..too large to embed)
http://www.younglifenorthdekalb.com/carter/dedication.wmv

WEEK 20
(Picture Taken Thursday, August 20th)

Mama Sooz came to visit 8/16-8/21. Started to take *great* interest in the various toys in the Exersaucer. Moved to being extremely smiley much of the time.

WEEK 21
(Picture Taken Saturday, August 22nd)

First trip to the beach Saturday evening. Starting to use her arms and legs to get to standing position all the way from her back: first pulls up from supine to sitting up, using her arms, then pushes up from sitting to standing using her legs, all the while holding on to our hands/fingers only. Supporting all of her weight on her legs.

WEEK 22
(Picture Taken Wednesday, September 2nd)
(5-month birthday this week)

Daddy noticed that in her pulling up to standing, she's supporting her entire weight on her legs easily, and only holding onto my fingers for balance. Decided to see, two days shy of her being five months old, if she was able to stand on her own by holding on. She could, for quite some time, and seemed very proud of herself.

Also really started getting her toes in her mouth this week. SOOOO cute. Finally, either this week or last week, she discovered blowing raspberries.

WEEK 23
(Picture Taken Monday, September 7th)

Her first college football weekend. Daddy teaches her where her loyalties need to be. She enjoys the teaching very much. (Video below)

Also, she figured out how to bounce in her Jumperoo this week as well. See second video below.

Finally, she started being able to remain in sitting up position for short periods without tripoding with her hands, us holding her up, or any additional back/side support.

*WARNING* Watching the two videos from this week has been known to cause cute overload. The Cute Police may come and arrest you.

VIDEO

WEEK 24
(Picture Taken Thursday, September 17th)

Spent most of this week in High Point with Daddy B and Mama Sooz, as Mommy had extended work travel, and Daddy was sick. Got *really* into blowing raspberries this week, and sitting up much better. Started to sleep on her side.

VIDEO

WEEK 25
(Picture Taken Saturday, September 19th)

Now sitting up on her own for long periods of time. Rolled over from front to back for the first time. Started sleeping on her tummy this week. Still putting her down on her back, but she flips over to her tummy pretty quickly most of the time.

VIDEO

Whew! Done. This would be a lot easier if I'd just take like 5 minutes per week. ;-)

Two month shots

2009-06-07T15:55:00.004-04:00

Carter turned turned two months this past Thursday and that meant her first round of immunizations. I will confess...I wasn't looking forward to those shots. I guess it is one of those emotional Mommy-things that trumps the logical side of your brain that says "it is for their own good." Overall, it was a great doctor visit as Carter is healthy and now weighing in at 11 pounds 1 ounce, which is right on target. It was just the last part of the visit that was tough--shot time. I know that in the big scheme of things in Carter's world these shots are a momentary nuisance and she'll be back to her smiling self in a matter of moments. But holding her little hands while her sudden cry pierced the happy play up until that moment, well, it undid me a little bit. And then when that cry registered one level higher after the second shot...that's when my tears started. Carter's cry was different than anything I had heard up until that point in her life and it was one of pain. I wanted to be able to at least explain to her what was happening and why Mommy was holding her hands and gazing into her eyes while she experienced this pain. I wanted to be able to let her know that I would never willingly stand there and let something "bad" happen to her even though it might have felt that way to her. Both Carter and I were fine by the time we left the office. However, while I assume she has no memory of the event, I still tear up thinking about the look in her eyes and the surprise, pain, and distress on her face!

As Ben and I rode home from the appointment with a quiet and content child in the back of the car, Ben sweetly checked in on me to make sure I was doing alright. Assuring him that I would survive, I had one of those "this must be a small glimpse of what God must feel" moments. As I look back over my life's journey, there have been times of piercing pain. How many times did God hold my hands, gaze deeply into my soul, and experience the fullness of that pain with me while His heart broke with compassion for me? How many times did He long to be able to whisper into my ear explanations of how this pain fits into a greater plan for healing, protection, or wholeness? How much did He long for me to know without doubt that He loves me fiercely and desires to protect me in the truest sense even when I don't fully understand what protection really even looks like? During those times of soul-piercing pain, how much does God want to reassure me that His love is greater than I know and that His intentions are ALWAYS for my good?

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'
Jeremiah 29:11

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.
2 Corinthians 1:3

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.
Revelation 21:3-6

Settling into the new normal

2009-05-30T15:28:00.009-04:00

Our little Carter is 8 weeks old today! And it has been a GREAT day. We have good friends visiting this weekend and they are enjoying meeting Carter for the first time. Today started with Carter's fun morning antics of grunting and stretching with smiles and coos now added to the mix followed by a wonderful breakfast complete with Ben's famous Charleston grits. The weather here in Charleston is as perfect as it gets in these parts and I encouraged our guests to get out to the Charleston Farmers Market and then to the beach. The Lewis clan decided to hang back and both Ben and Carter are taking good afternoon naps even now as I write. Carter is napping in her bouncy seat next to me while I am enjoying my second pot of coffee (decaf, or course)while sitting out on the back porch. Let me tell you...life is good.

We returned last Saturday from a week long trip to the NC mountains where we spent time at my parent's condo. Ben was able to work from there and I enjoyed having Mom's company during the quiet weekdays. This was a really fun week for several reasons. First, it is always wonderful to have eager extra hands to help with the diaper changes. But even more fun, Carter began smiling in earnest this week! While there had been smiles here and there coming into this trip where we would ask, "Do you think that was an intentional smile?", the smiles this particular week left no doubt. Her favorite spot to crack a toothless grin was on the changing table and in her crib in the morning after she really wakes up.

Since this time, the smiles have brightened and become more frequent. The changing table and the crib in the morning are still prime smile-time, but now she is as likely to smile in the evening as she is in the morning and during various activities that strike her fancy. You can definitely get a sense of what she enjoys and this new insight into her personality is so much fun. And let me tell you, nothing melts your heart faster or more completely than when it is clear that her absolute favorite thing is looking at and listening to her Mom and Dad.

The Learning Curve

2009-05-01T18:59:00.007-04:00

Carter is four weeks old tomorrow and we are quickly coming up on her first month. For someone like myself who has spent very little time around babies, this has been a major learning curve. However, I have been pleased to report that I have figured things out well enough to ensure her survival to the four week mark. And not to mention, she gained a pound from discharge to the two week doctor visit. So, I must be doing something right!

On a related front, Ben has an extensive collection of books that he brought into the marriage. Included in those are several Dave Barry books. Ben dug one of them out this past week. I can't imagine what would have inspired him to pull "Babies & Other Hazards of Sex" off the shelf? Can you?

So, we have had fun reading it the last few nights and can relate to it a little too much. I love the following section because it captures almost the exact conversation we have had almost on a daily basis. The passage reads as follows:

"This is the Basic Baby Mood Cycle, which all babies settle into once they get over being born: MOOD ONE: Just about to cry. MOOD TWO: Crying. MOOD THREE: Just finished crying. Your major job is to keep your baby in Mood Three as much as possible. Here is the traditional way to do this. When the baby starts to cry, the two of you should pass it back and forth repeatedly and recite these words in unison: "Do you suppose he's hungry? He can't be hungry. He just ate. Maybe he needs to be burped. No, that's not it. Maybe his diaper needs to be changed. No, it's dry. What could be wrong? Do you think maybe he's hungry?" And so on, until the baby can't stand it any more and decides to go to sleep."

I just love this section because it is so true! One of my cousins commented in a email to me that parenthood ushers in a life of perpetual confusion. She said that when you finally start to get a handle on one stage, the child grows and moves into the next stage where the confusion begins again. And then you have another child and everything you learned with the first has absolutely no bearing on the second child. I guess it is good that I am getting more and more comfortable with the "not knowing". Ben, Carter, and I will have to figure it out as we go! Ah, the joy is in the journey.

The Chronicle Of Carter (birth story)

2009-04-18T05:46:00.019-04:00

(We wanted to get the labor/delivery story written down. Some times are exact due to cell phone records and computer timestamps. Others are estimated. TImes without the tilde (~) mark are exact.)

FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2009
1:00pm: scheduled prenatal visit. Jen is at 2 cm.

~3:30pm: Jen starts noticing "an odd feeling" in her abdomen that lasts for 30-45 seconds, and keeps repeating on a fairly regular basis.

~4:30pm: Jen calls me at work. "Honey, I think I might be having some sort of pre-contractions or something." I tell her that I'm coming home right away. She says I don't need to do that; it's probably nothing. I immediately pack up everything I might need to work from home for the next week, and jump in the car.

~4:45pm: In the car, I call Jen:

JEN: "It's probably nothing, just those Braxton-Hicks things or something."
BEN: "How long has this been going on?"
JEN: "A little over an hour."
BEN: "How far apart are they?"
JEN: "About every 8-10 minutes or so."
BEN: "Uh, Jen. That sounds like the real deal."
JEN: "No...no....this doesn't really even hurt."
BEN: "Well, just in case, I think you should at least finish packing your bag, and let your mom know." (Her mom was planning on being there for the birth. As for the bag, given everything that we'd been told about first-time moms, she'd planned on finishing that on Saturday--a week before the due date.)
JEN: "OK...ok....I guess I can pack the bag. But I don't think I should get mom worried. I don't want her get her excited and she drives all the way down here for nothing because I end up not having the baby for another week."

4:59pm: I call my mother to let her know that her 7th grandchild might be on the way.

~5:10pm: I arrive at home, fully in "about-to-be-a-father" mode. I take over the timing of the "funny feelings." They're ranging from 6 to 10 minutes apart at this point.

~6:00pm: With the "funny feelings" down to 5 to 8 minutes apart, Jen decides to at least let her mom know that maybe something is going on.

~6:15pm: Jen describes the "funny feelings" as being somewhat like cramps and not the real deal. Given the repetitive nature, I'm convinced that we're going to have a baby in the next 12-18 hours. She is not. We decide to go next door to talk to our next-door neighbors, Matt and Trista. Trista has had two, the most recent one coming 6 months ago. We knock on the door. They invite us in. Jen and Trista start small-talking. This small talk is going on for a good 60-90 seconds before I just interrupt and say, "Uh, Jen, this ain't a social call. Trista, we're here for a reason. What do contractions feel like?" TRISTA: "WHAT?????!!!!" (big grin) She tells her that the early ones feel somewhat like cramps. DING DING DING!!! We're at their house long enough for 2 or 3 more of those "funny feelings" to come on, then we go back, probably around 6:45pm.

~6:45pm: Jen calls her mom to report back in. Still she tells her that it's probably nothing. I take the phone from her: "Susan, Jen is downplaying this. I think this is it. If you wait until tomorrow morning, I think you're going to miss the birth. Come tonight if you still want to see your first grandchild born."

~6:55pm: I call Columbus to let my mother know that I think her 7th grandchild is coming soon.

~7:30pm: Nearly all the "funny feelings" have been 6-7 minutes apart for the last 90 minutes. Jen tells me about a web site where contractions can be timed by just hitting "Begin" and "end" buttons when they start and finish. Starting at 7:32pm, we have a complete record of her contractions until 12:16am.

7:41pm Facebook Update: "Ben Lewis and Jen are not in agreement on what is a contraction, but she's having some sort of pain like clockwork every 7 minutes."

7:43pm Facebook Update: "Ben Lewis needs to clarify: he thinks they are. She is downplaying. We'll see who's right, I guess. ;-)"

~7:45pm: Trista and two other moms of young ones on our street knock on the front door. Jen hangs out with them for 10 minutes or so on the porch. All four are giggling, telling labor stories, trying to figure out if these are really contractions, etc. (Of course while she's out there she tells me when the "funny feelings" are beginning and ending.)

~8:15pm: I ask Jen if she's had a "funny feeling" lately. She says that she hasn't. I say "well, I expect you'll be having one in the next very short while." About 10 seconds later, there comes one.

8:17pm Facebook Update: "She is now fairly convinced that they are contractions. Last one was 58 seconds long. They're 6 minutes apart now. "

8:22pm: The first of a series of contractions five minutes apart or less begins. I *think* this is the first one where she started feeling noticeable pain and not just "kinda like a cramp."

~8:45pm: Bag is packed. Jen has eaten dinner. Contractiosn have been five minutes or less for half an hour. First call to doctor is made. Doctor wants her 4 to 4 1/2 minutes apart for an hour before coming in, but gives us option to come in then if we want. Jen declines. :)

~9:00pm: Jen's parents in High Point are frantically running around and packing the cars. I believe they departed at around 10:00pm.

~9:25pm: Jen realizes that she has no really good "pregnant pictures," so we get up, get dressed, and go next door to ask Matt and Trista to come take some pictures of us. Pic was taken at 9:34pm.

11:12pm Facebook Update: "Ben Lewis and Jennifer are sitting in the den on our laptops timing the contractions. 5 minutes and counting. Methinks we're going to get to meet Carter soon. " So we basically sat in the den. Jen contracting and breathing, me doing the timing, for the next 45 minutes..until....

11:58pm Facebook Update: Ben Lewis is wondering if it is normal behavior for a woman who is having contractions 4 1/2 minutes apart to get up and start vacuuming the house, refusing to let her husband do it.

Yes, when I informed her that she'd hit the 4 1/2 minute mark, she got UP and started vacuuming, and would not let me do it.

SATURDAY, APRIL 4, 2009
12:16am: We record the last at-home contraction. It's 48 seconds long, and is only 2 minutes and 35 seconds after the most recent one.

~12:30am: After calling the doctor once again and letting her know that Jen had been at or around 4 minutes for nearly an hour, she gives us the go-ahead, and we depart for East Cooper Regional Hospital. In the car on the way there, we call a few people to let them know that this is it.

~1:15am: We get checked into a room.

~1:25am: Jen's water breaks. She is at 8cm.

~1:30am: Nurse struggles to get I.V. in, which is needed for epidural. (As of this writing, over two weeks later, Jen still has a nasty-looking bruise on her arm from this...)

~1:45am: Second nurse finally gets I.V. in.

~2:10am: Epidural begins. (Turns out this was only a partial, and needed to be redone later.) Jen is at 9cm.

~2:30am: Jen's parents arrive at the hospital.

~3:45am: Jen is at 9cm. Doctors ascertain that epidural is not working as needed. New epidural is ordered.

~3:50am: Things improve dramatically for Jen as new epidural kicks in.

~4:45am: Jen's brother Sam arrives at the hospital, having also driven all night from High Point.

~5:00am: Doctor ascertains that Jen is at 10cm, but baby needs to drop down a little further. Jen is pretty comfortable at this point, so they sit her upright for a while and let gravity help out.

5:58am: At this point, it's just a waiting game. Jen's parents are pretty tired from driving and being up all night.

7:13am: Still waiting. Loving the epidural.

8:57am Facebook Update: "Dr just said she will have Jen start pushing in 30ish min."

~9:45am: Pushing actually commences, a little later than the doc had said.

10:44am: Carter Ravenel Lewis is born!!!

10:51am: On the scale

11:02am: Mommy, Daddy, and Carter

11:04am: (20 minutes old and alert...she was this way pretty much from birth)

11:05am: (21 minutes...Jen looking none the worse for wear!)

~11:30am: Due to minor breathing/transition issues, Carter is taken to the nursery for observation. Her blood oxygen count was at around 82%. We were told that they're looking for 90 or better.

~11:35am: An oxygen mask is put on her.

~11:36am: She pulls the oxygen mask off.

~11:37am: The mask is put back on.

~11:38am: She pulls it off again.

~11:38am: The doctor notices that the count has risen to the 97-99 range, and decides to leave the mask off and see how she does.

12:01pm: In the nursery, no mask

~1:00pm: Carter is allowed to return to our room after a little over an hour of all vital signs looking perfect.

Two weeks on the other side

2009-04-17T20:59:00.003-04:00

Well, the last time I posted I was thinking we had about two weeks before Carter would arrive. In reality, it was one week. And now, I am on the eve of two weeks passing since the big day. What an emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual journey it has been. And I am quite sure we have just started! And even in the middle of what feels like will be a marathon of truncated sleep and guessing at what that particular cry means, I am aware that it will pass all too quickly and we will never have THIS moment with her again.

I think Ben is planning on blogging a "Chronicles of Carter" post with all the details about her arrival and whatnot. So, I won't do much of that here. I just want to take a pause, draw a deep breath, and reflect a little bit on the two weeks. As precious as time is these days--it won't be long, but I want to jot down a few thoughts and impressions.

First of all, I can't believe how beautiful I think my daughter is. Ben and I both have marveled at her every time we look at her. She has such beautiful skin and her almond-shaped, dark eyes melt my heart. I think she has her Daddy's naturally arched eyebrows which will be a blessing if that is the case since Mommy pays big money every four to six weeks to get hers!

Second of all, I am tickled at how seemingly relational she is right out of the womb. From minute one, she locked eyes with each an every loved one that held her starting with Mommy and Daddy. And it wasn't accidental...she would really look at each person for a good long time. I know newborns aren't supposed to smile in meaningful ways, but I would put money on this girl's smile. And let me tell you, she has some smiles for Daddy.

And I guess the other thing that just stands out so starkly from the last two weeks is how wonderful I think my husband is and how thankful I am to be sharing this parenting journey with him. Watching him take delight in Cater is such a joy. He is absolutely over the moon about this girl. All the nurses at the hospital went out of their way to tell me how precious it was to watch Ben with her. He can't get enough of her! And he has done such an incredible job taking care of me. He has been patient in all my many requests, thinks I am beautiful at each and every stage of this journey, was a champ in the delivery room, and has gone out of his way to do all the things he can to make this transition easier for me. I am blessed to have him as my husband and Carter is blessed to have him as a father.

Carter Ravenel Lewis: What's in a name?

2009-04-10T17:02:00.009-04:00

Several people have asked about the origin of Carter's name. I'll start with the easier part, her middle name. "Ravenel" is Jennifer's maiden name. The Ravenel family's history is well documented and its roots in the New World are actually right here in the South Carolina Lowcountry, where Carter will be raised. Jennifer will be writing more here at a later date about the Ravenel heritage, but here's just one of many links out there if you're interested in finding out more about that side of Carter's lineage:

http://books.google.com/books?id=_jpMAAAAMAAJ&dq=ravenel+famiy&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=Yz1XOTLCst&sig=k4m2jZ6A2Ig5tMX7odokXLkilgc&hl=en&ei=NMLfSeDLDonUyQXp_PXUDA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6

Her first name is not as well-documented, but we are just as proud of it and hope she will be, too. She is named for her great-great-grandfather, Rev. James Henry Carter. Of course, genealogical records for people of African descent born in the time of slavery in America are often sketchy or simply non-existent. We are relying on oral history, but what we do know about him is remarkable. Several of his grandchildren and many of his great-grandchildren are alive. If any of you are reading this and can help fill in, verify, or correct anything written here, please contact me at benelou@bellsouth.net.

By all accounts, James Carter was born during slave times in the American South, so it is very likely that he was born a slave. He was a fairly young boy (likely around 9 years old) when slavery was abolished. As of this writing, I do not know how or where he was educated, but it's clear that he was at least to some degree. He became a pastor and a contractor. He oversaw the building of at least seven historic black churches in Columbus, Georgia, and gave the land for at least two of them. During the course of his life, he acquired enough land and wealth to give at least six of his children homes, including a rather large home and lot on the corner of 2nd Avenue and 5th Street in downtown Columbus given to my grandmother, Ruby Carter Allen. My mother and her seven siblings grew up in that house, and I have many fond memories from childhood of playing in the yard with my cousins there.

James Carter's descendants were numerous, and many of them became long-time spiritual and community leaders in the Columbus area and elsewhere. His progeny have totaled hundreds of years of full-time ministry, and it would be a conservative estimate to say that there will be thousands (likely tens of thousands) of people in heaven who came into a relationship with Christ through the ministry of James Carter or one of his descendants.

We hope and pray that Carter's life will honor her namesake families, and that she will know Christ and make him known to others.

--Ben

I LOVE our neighborhood.

2009-04-03T19:49:00.003-04:00

We live in Mayberry. Word gets out that Jen is having contractions, and there are three neighbor women at our front door hanging out with her, telling labor stories, predicting when the baby will come. FUN! Carter, you're going to have insta-community.

Is this it?

2009-04-03T19:30:00.001-04:00

6-7 minutes apart for the last hour and a half. Woohoo!!!

Wrote A Song About Her, Like To Hear It, Here It Go!

2009-03-31T21:17:00.006-04:00

Wow, fatherhood, and before I know it! Like Jen, this nine months has gone for me much more quickly than I would have guessed. It seems like just a few weeks ago that I came home from the office and Jen handed me a small gift-wrapped box. I looked at her quizzically, and opened it. It looked like a thermometer to me, which was to say the least a bit confusing. Then I looked at the little window in it that said "pregnant," and believe it or not, I STILL didn't get it immediately. (I'm kinda slow like that sometimes...) Anyway, here we are now, likely less than two weeks from meeting her.

Speaking of meeting her (and the main reason I'm writing tonight), wrote a song about it. Like to hear it??? Here it go!!! (Please forgive the sound quality. I just recorded it really quickly on the live mic on mp3 player a few minutes ago.)

Click Here to Hear A Song For Carter

And here are the lyrics:

I can’t wait to meet you. Can’t wait to try to make you smile,
To hear you call me Daddy, just to hold you for a while,
To push that stroller down the street as the neighbors smile and stare.
And they look at you and ask me, “Ben who is that angel there???”
My baby girl, you are the sweetest little thing.
My baby girl, oh the joy to me you bring.

Yeah, you’re half black, half white, part sugar part spice.
For you I’d lay down my life. I wouldn’t even think twice.
Can’t wait to kiss you and hug you. Carter, I always will love you.
Nobody else but Jesus and Jen will ever, ever be put above you.
Words they cannot express the joy you’re bringing to me.
We had a family of two, now you’re makin’ it three.
You got a daddy who likes to rap, and also thinks he’s a singer.
Speaking of rap, you know you’ll have me cold wrapped around your finger.

CHORUS

Now Carter I love to play, so there’s comin’ a day
When I hope you learn to laugh at your daddy’s funny ways.
Just runnin’ out in the yard. Maybe you’ll play the guitar.
No matter what to me you’ll always be a bright-shinin’ star.
We’ll have some fun watchin’ Shrek. And then I’ll stick out my neck
Teaching you why you should respect both Ronald Reagan and Malcolm X.
And someday under the sun, I’m gonna have a little fun
Teachin’ you songs by Alan Jackson and rhymes by D.J. Run.

CHORUS

I’ll always answer your call, pick you up when you fall,
Wipe your skinned knees off, and help you stand up so tall.
All the things we can share, your burdens I’ll help you bear.
I guess what I’m sayin’ is no matter what daddy’ll be there.

Just two more weeks?

2009-03-29T21:54:00.023-04:00

Wow. Nine months goes faster than I would have ever imagined! It has been a wonderful time of anticipation as well as a time of savoring and appreciating each and every aspect of the journey. Hearing her heart beat for the first time, to see her profile for the first time at 12 weeks, to watch her hiccups at 20 weeks and to find out she is a girl, and to feel her moving and wiggling inside me for the last few months--it has all been such a joy. Even now as I type this exactly two weeks out from an April 12th due date, Carter is rolling and moving and I can feel her feet at the top of my belly and her hand down near my hip bone. It is truly amazing. Here are a few pictures highlighting some of the journey!

After finding out we were pregnant on August 7th, we had our first doctor visit on August 21st where they did an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. We were scheduled for the 21st because we thought that would put us at 8 weeks, which is when this practice likes to see you for the first time. However, once the ultrasound was done at this appointment, we learned that we were 6 weeks and 4 days. They gave us our new due date of April 12. It was a little nerve-wracking for me when they couldn't find a heart beat with the small ultrasound machine, which made sense in retrospect as it was a little earlier in the pregnancy than we had expected. They had us wait for the big ultrasound machine and after an agonizing hour or so waiting to get in, we finally heard the heart beat for first time. Ben was grinning from ear to ear and I quickly went to quiet tears. For me as I think back over the course of this entire pregnancy, this particular moment stands out as being the most touching and emotional.

During weeks nine and ten of the pregnancy, Ben and I packed our bags and joined my Mom and Dad along with a great group of people from High Point and Greensboro, NC for a 10 day trip to Israel. It is amazing how God granted me strength to manage the fatigue of those first trimester weeks and the exhaustion that came with the heat and physical rigors of the trip. It was the trip of a lifetime and it meant so much to both Ben and myself to walk in the very places where Jesus walked. And then to think that this little baby who was growing stronger and bigger every day within me was able to "be with us" in such a Holy place.... It was amazing. The picture above was taken during a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee and the picture below is of Ben placing a prayer for the baby in the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

While this picture from the 12 week ultrasound isn't the clearest one of the bunch, I love the fact that she is holding her hand up to her face and you can see her arm and the bones of her fingers. What God does to create this life from the first moment throughout the 40 weeks is just amazing and how wonderful to get to steal these glimpses!

In early November, I decided to try my hand at planting a few daffodil bulbs in honor of the baby. I thought it would be so much fun to have flowers blooming as an announcement of sorts that this little one was getting close to making an arrival.

Look at that profile! Mom came down to Charleston for the big 20 week ultrasound just before Thanksgiving and the three of us found out pretty early in the process that Carter was a GIRL. Lots of phone calls to the other family members to spread the good news.

Christmas was a special time spent with both sides of the family as we all celebrated this upcoming arrival. Ben and I spent the weekend before Christmas in the mountains with Mom and Dad and then headed down to Columbus for Ben's 40th Birthday and Christmas with his family. While in the mountains, I caught this picture of Mom working on Carter's beautiful blanket.

I love this 3D picture from our 25 week ultrasound. This was a late Christmas present for us. How cool is it to get to see your child's face before you actually get to officially meet!

I was so excited when I saw the first little signs of Carter's daffodils! This picture was taken at the end of February and I just couldn't believe that we were already getting so close to the magic of spring and all that would come with this new season.

While at my parents' home over the last weekend of February for a shower hosted by a wonderful friend of the family in Greensboro, Ginger was quick to take the opportunity to snuggle as best she could with Carter.

Joining us in celebrating Carter's upcoming arrival, friends and family blessed us with several showers. After the shower in Greensboro the last weekend in Feb with the ladies of the family and many of Mom's special friends, our wonderful next door neighbors hosted a shower the following weekend that was attended by couples and children from the neighborhood as well as my best friends and their husbands. And then without any hint to me, our small group from church turned our regular Sunday night gathering into a surprise shower! What a blessing all of these relationships are in our life.

As we enter the home stretch, the nursery is organized and Ben has assembled lots of equipment. Carter's daffodils are in full bloom and we just can't wait for the big birthday when we finally get to meet her!